Son: "What happens if we don't go to Heaven?"
"Then you will go to Hell," my wife answered.
"What happens when you go to Hell?" was the first follow-up question.
"You don't want to go to Hell," I told him hoping that that would be the end of the topic.
"But what happens if you do go to Hell?" He was not going to let it go.
"You don't want to go to Hell," I repeated as my Reverend Thompson character began to emerge. "If you go to Hell you will suffer eternal torment,".
"What's eternal torment?"
I should have known that would happen. Suddenly, I realized that I was in a corner. I was like a boxer trying to survive the first round, but having a hard time doing so because the other guy wouldn't stop hitting me. Do I go into my limited bank of intelligence to explain the fear that has been injected into every Christian's subconscious about total damnation, lake of fire, and all that other stuff? Do I tell him that a red monster with cloven hooves and a pitchfork is going to drag him off to be tortured forever and ever? Or, do I do like many of us do in the modern church and just tell him to be quiet and trust me on this one? I decided to fight out of my corner.
"Eternal torment is a lot like being tickled forever and ever without stopping," I said. My son hated to be tickled and I was trying to get him to grasp the concept of endless torture. To prove my point, I grabbed him and began to tickle him until he was rolling on the floor, laughing and trying to get away from me. After a killer fifteen second tickle attack he lay on the floor trying to get his breath back. When he recovered, he sat up and looked me in the eye.
"But what's eternal torment?", he asked again. So my wife and I tried to figure out a way to explain eternal torment to a five year old. And then something came to me.
"If you go to Hell," I told him. "You won't get to see me or mommy anymore."
That got his attention. "Why not?"
"Because mommy and daddy are going to be in Heaven. And if we are in Heaven and you are in Hell, then we won't see each other anymore. Does that make sense?".
Son: "Yes".
Me: "So what do you think? Do you want to go to Heaven or Hell?"
Son: "I want to go to Heaven,(yes!)".
But I couldn't let it stop there. I asked him who he thought Jesus was, what was Jesus' relationship to God, and did he believe that Jesus died for our sins. He answered me back correctly on all questions. He believed that Jesus was God's son. Yes, he believed that Jesus died for our sins. Yes he believed that Jesus was in Heaven with God. And then he went back to playing on the floor.
But here's the thing. I don't know if he completely understands the concept of Heaven or Hell. And I know that he doesn't understand the concept of the Trinity. Some adult Christians don't know that. But my wife and I have tried to answer as many of his questions as honestly as possible in order to build upon his Christian foundation. Was our approach to his questioning the best? I don't know. But here's why I went with the separation from Mother and Father. Do you remember when Jesus was on the cross in Matthew 27:46, and he screamed out "Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?" which means "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"(niv). That question occurred because Jesus had experienced separation from God from the very first time. For my son, separation from my wife and me is the absolute worst thing that could happen to him. The most effective punishment we can do to him is not to spank him; but to make him sit in his room by himself. We have tried spanking by the way. So by making him realize that he would be separated from us forever, we created in him a desire to go with us to Heaven. I know he should be focused on being in Heaven with God, but gimme a break... he's five! We can transfer that focus to God more and more as he gets older.
But I learned something about myself during that conversation. I began to think about what it would be like for me to be separated from God. Imagine, not being in good relationship with God and hearing Him say "...Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me,"(Matthew 25:41-43). That's not a conversation that I want to have. By having to answer my son's questions, I essentially had to answer one of my own. Why don't I want to go to Hell? Simple. I don't want to be separated from God the Father. Not a bad lesson to learn; even if you already knew it.
Peace and love,
Rev. Mike
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Hi Mike,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your post-- sounds like you did great! It brought back memories of when I first tried to explain spiritual things to my daughters. They were about 7 and 12 at the time. They were both baptized later that year. In some ways it was difficult, but I think children, especially young children understand more about God than we realize. I think the window of opportunity gets smaller the older they get, so we should teach them as much as we can while they are young. God bless,
Michelle
Job well done. I agree that it is not always easy explaining these types of questions to our young children but it is sooo necessary. We must teach them while they are young so they can grab the importance of living right at an early age. Continue to do what you do! God bless you.
ReplyDeleteDonna
Thank you Donna. He's still a sponge so my wife and I try to fill him up with information now while he still thinks we're cool!
ReplyDeleteMichelle,
ReplyDeleteI can't tell you how many adults told me to just have faith and believe. What does that mean to a nine or ten year old? That's why I try to answer all my son's questions. I don't always do well and tell him because I said so. But this one was too important. Thank you for your comments.