Sunday, May 31, 2009

My Week In The Hospital Part II (Room 316)

This is a continuation of the post that I made a couple of weeks ago. I was talking about being in the hospital and walking the halls of the third floor. I was realizing that although I needed to be in the hospital, I was not in danger of getting any worse. I was doing what I was supposed to do. That is, I was staying attached to my IV (I named it Joey), I was drinking plenty of water, and I was going to the bathroom every 15 or 20 minutes because of the IV and the water. So I was getting better with every passing day. But because I was in the hospital, and I was not in danger any longer, I had plenty of time to think. So I walked and thought. As I went into the cancer area every day, I would go to an area that I began to call the sun room. It was an area that was about 10 feet wide by 20 feet long. There were three doors in it. One door was the door that I always used as an entrance to the area. The other two doors were locked and marked Employees Only. I assume that they would take me into the secret lair of the hospital. The room was large enough to contain two sofas and three large windows. If you looked out of the windows, you had a lovely view of I-35 and the latest construction going on at the hospital. I have to tell you that I hated that room for two reasons:

1. It was the dead end road on my hallway highway.
2. It was at least 15 degrees hotter in that room than any other area on the floor.

Nevertheless, I still visited the sun room on a daily basis, spent about two minutes in there, and immediately turned around and walked out. One particular day when my wife came to see me, I started getting restless again and told her I wanted to take a walk. She decided to walk with me. So we did my usual route. Down the hall to the ICU area, take three left turns, up the hall to the other end of ICU, take three more left turns, through the double doors back to the main hall. From the main hall, you walk down to the cancer ward and take a right. Go through the double doors and walk down the hall to the end. At the end of the hall is a left turn only. After the left turn, you go through the final set of double doors and viola! You are in the sun room. Now you must remember that I take this walk about three times every day, so I have already decided that I will spend my usual two minutes in there and go back out. But since my wife was with me, she asked me to sit down for a while so that we could relax outside of my room. She immediately liked the sun room because it was an open space. I gave her one of my looks. She told me she liked in there and wanted to sit for a minute. So I lay down on one of the couches in the room and she took the other. As I lay there on my back, I noticed something that I had not seen in about four days. Laying there on the couch I could look out of the window and see the sky and the clouds. I had never stayed in the room long enough to notice. Because my wife made me stay in there, I was able to see the clouds and remember what it was like to be outside. It was a wonderful feeling. For a moment, I was not in the hospital attached to an IV. I was lying on my back, bathing in the sun. I never would have experienced that moment had it not been for my wife. I told her later that I never liked that room until I went in there with her. For the rest of the week, I would go visit the sun room and look out the window. But instead of looking at the highway and the construction, I made it a point to look up at the clouds. And every time I did, I remembered my wife and the beautiful blessing that God has given me in her. When was the last time you looked at the clouds and remembered God's blessings in your life? Why don't you try it today? You never know what you might see.

Peace and Love,

Rev. Mike


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Wednesday, May 20, 2009

I Don't Have Any Salt! (Lessons From Room 316)

It was Thursday of last week and I was sitting in my hospital bed. I was so annoyed, I didn't know what to do. It was not that I was upset about being in the hospital. I had already come to terms with what my situation was and accepted it. No, I was angry because I was looking at some unsalted green beans on my plate. This was the second day in a row that I was going to have to deal with some bland tasteless veggies. And I was upset about it. Earlier in the week I noticed that the vegetables never had any seasoning on them. I tried to make due by pushing them around in whatever sauce I could salvage off of the main entree. But on Wednesday and Thursday there was nothing to push the vegetables in. So I was annoyed. Luckily for me, the young lady that brought my tray to me was still in the room serving my roommate. I decided that I'd had enough. As she was walking toward the door, I summoned her back to my bedside. In a polite (but firm) voice, I asked her if it would be possible to have some salt for my vegetables. She looked me square in the eye and said, "Sir, you are on the reagular diet. Your salt is in the package there on your tray". I looked down where she was pointing. There was a small package that held a straw and a napkin. I don't use straws so I had never examined it before. I picked it up and flipped it over. On the other side of the napkin were three little packets. One was sugar. One was pepper. And the final one was... wait for it. Salt! Needless to say, I felt foolish. But I only had myself to blame. You see, I had never asked for salt before. I could have been enjoying the salty goodness of my vegetables all week long and I did not because I had simply failed to ask someone.

There is a biblical lesson that I learned from that moment. In James 4:2 it states, You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You do not have, because you do not ask God (niv). I had sat in my bed, day after day, and silently complained to myself because I had no salt. Up until that final moment, I had not thought to ask anyone for help. I also never actually looked for any salt on my tray. I just assumed that what I wanted was not available. Matthew 7:7-8 states, “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. “For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened". How many times do we Christians walk around upset over things we don't have only to discover later that the very thing that we wanted was available for us? Even worse, it was right there within our grasp the entire time. But we neither asked for it or looked for it. I could have enjoyed my food even more if I had asked for some salt earlier in the week. It is a lesson that I pray will stay with me from now on. As we go through our days, let us remember to always ask, seek, and knock. Ask God to guide our lives, seek His face, and knock on the door of humility. I use humility because sometimes my pride will not allow me to ask or seek. This lesson was a blessing to me. I hope that you will find it to be a blessing as well.

Peace and Love,

Rev. Mike


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Saturday, May 16, 2009

My Week In The Hospital (Room 316)

I didn't post last Sunday because I was getting sodium bicarbonate pumped into my system. I was getting sodium bicarbonate pumped into my system because the levels of enzymes in my kidneys was around 250,000. These levels should have been less than 1000. How did I do it you ask? I went to work out with a trainer and really overdid it. As a result, my muscles broke down too hard and sent massive amounts of protein and blood to my kidneys and my urine was brown (sorry if that is gross). Anyway, I went to the emergency room and they admitted me in. This was Saturday night/ Sunday morning because I finally got admitted at 1:30am. The next morning the doctor on shift told me that if I would have waited a week to come in, my scenario could have been:
1. Lose both kidneys.
2. Lose liver
3. Death.
4. A really bad combination of all three.

My brother was with me when I woke up Sunday morning. My wife and son arrived a little later on. The rest of Sunday was realizing that I was exceptionally blessed to not have any organ damage, and getting used to the fact that I was going to have to stay in the hospital a few days. On Wednesday, I learned from my assigned doctor that my levels went up to 264,000 before they actually stabilized and began to come down. Once again, I began to realize how serious this could have become. Now I have never been in the hospital before, so the fact that I have to stay in bed all day long is driving me crazy! So I began to walk the halls of the floor that I was on. Basically, the third floor consists of three major areas. The kidney/ major organ wing that I was on, the cancer ward, and ICU. Now I was able to walk pretty much anywhere on the floor I wanted because I was not allowed to go outside. So I walked through the cancer ward and I walked through ICU. This is where I began to see God's blessings in my circumstances. I began to call the ICU ward the place where "they tie you down by you face". This is because almost every patient had something attached to their nose, their mouth, or both. I would assume they were for oxygen and feeding tubes. One person I saw was a double leg amputee with both tubes attached. During the week I would wave to the patients in these rooms as I walked by. They seemed to appreciate it. I didn't go in their rooms because I didn't want to be a pain in the butt. But there was also the possibility that I could infect them with something because their immunity systems were very weak. Most of the nurses and visitors they had were covered up with aprons, gloves, and face masks too. The cancer ward was even more intense. The sign on the door going in stated that no children were allowed into the area under the age of 14. That lets you know how severe their circumstances were. I'll tell you more later.

Peace and Love

Rev. Mike

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Sunday, May 3, 2009

I Know This Is Hard To Believe... But It Could Be Worse

Every time I really feel sorry for myself, I am reminded that my life could be worse than it actually is. I went running through a field with my son today. I am old, out of shape, and I almost turned my ankle twice trying to catch up with him. He's five, by the way. As we were running back to the truck, I thought about how hard it will be to run with him when he's a teenager. I will be older, and he will be taller, stronger, and better looking than me. And I wouldn't have that any other way. But I also thought about the man I saw at my job this past week. He was in a wheelchair and did not have the use of his legs. He is still able to drive himself around in a specially modified car, and he seems to have life under control. But he cannot run with his son like I can. And I realize again that I am truly blessed. My wife and I have met countless people who had difficulties with their children being born with major health problems that we never had to deal with. And for that we are blessed. I have to tell you this so that I can remind myself how fortunate I am for the life I have. I am not rich.... And that really ticks me off! But, I have met many people with more money than me who seem to have lives that are worse off than mine.

I guess I should have stated earlier that I had a very frustrating week. Nothing that was life threatening, but just an exceptionally stressful week. And it is during days and weeks like these when I want to ask God, "Why can't I win the lottery? Certainly all of my troubles would go away if I simply didn't have to worry about money, or job satisfaction, or fulfillment." God never answers me when I ask that question. But He does show me how good my life really is. I have a wife that loves me. I have a son that still thinks I am cool. And we are alive to fight another day. I know what you are thinking. You are probably thinking, "Great. You're blessed. Why should I care?" And you probably shouldn't care. But, I think that you can use my experience and apply it to your life. Think about where you could be right now. I know I could be in jail, dead, or homeless if not for God watching out for me. There were times in my life that I literally didn't care what happened to me. I didn't care if I lived or died. Scratch that. I did want to live, but I was in so much mental anguish that I would have died to make the pain go away. So even though life is not perfect (and it isn't), I know that God is still in control. And I know that my life could definitely be worse. If you don't believe me, just check out the evening news and see how much suffering there is in the world. Then evaluate your life. I think you will find something there that you can count as a blessing.

Peace and Love,

Rev. Mike


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